DollarMan’s Neighborhood

San Jose 2008 342

Our nephew Shane and his girlfriend Maggie eloped yesterday in Atlanta.  We are very happy for them and will see them on Thanksgiving at Charlotte and Randy's house.

A year ago tomorrow Kevin's brother Shawn married Kim in San Jose.  Kevin arrived in California the day Proposition 8 passed to celebrate his brother's happiness.  This week we got to watch people a thousand miles away vote on the civil rights of their fellow citizens in the state of Maine.

So, since we have lived in Nashville we have celebrated our nephew Billy's wedding, Shawn's, Shane's, and in June next year Megan and Ryan will be married. My sister and her boyfriend Bob eloped also.

If, suppose, I died tomorrow Kevin would be left alone, lose his Medical Insurance, forfeit my pension, and have to ask my family's permission to bury me. 

Each time we celebrate the union of those we love we quietly get to reflect on just what the implications are for us.  We have only been together for 18 years. Collectively more than all our newly married loved ones combined as far as the time they have been together prior to getting married. There has been no party or anniversary wishes.  No invitations to send out or thank you notes to write.

But we have each other for as long as we are alive and perhaps one day somebody will "allow" us the same basic civil rights as the people in our lives have.

As you know we love our families dearly and support them all and share in their joy each time a milestone occurs.  It would be nice to invite them all to share in our joy but we have decided that we will wait until we can do it legally rather than do something symbolic. They all treat us as though we are married so it would really just be a technicality anyhow. Oh, and then there are the 1,200 legal rights we would enjoy in addition to a new toaster and a few gift cards.

by making it illegal for you to divorce!

I am looking into getting a Referendum on the ballot to make Divorce illegal in Davidson County in Tennessee. Marriage is a right and not a privilege. It should be treated as such.

In the Judao-Christian tradition, barring anyone's personal beliefs it should be illegal, based on Christianity and the tenets of most Christian faiths to divorce.

 What God has created let no man tear asunder........It doesn't matter if you are Jewish, Muslim, Agnostic, or Atheist.  Your rights will be decided on by the religion of the majority. There is no Separation of Church and State and I want to help you get into heaven when the time comes for you to meet your maker.

I am looking into starting a Petition Drive to get this on the ballot in Nashville. I am researching wording for petitions and the process involved in making this happen.  I will stand in front of large Christian Churches with petitions and then also go to Gay gathering spots to ensure getting enough signatures to get a referendum on the ballot.

Additionally I would like to make it illegal to remarry if you are already divorced.  If you can't get it right the first time you should not get a second chance given so many people are not legally allowed to marry.  That would be a gross abuse of a right that others are not permitted to exercise.

Placed in my mom's dansk bowl from the 70s that I use.

Alternative title: the most boring blog post ever.

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Hot drinks

I'm still trying to minimize our posessions. Even my email box was horribly clogged. I had 124 emails on my private account. Most of them were from nonprofits. During grad school I did a newsletter signup frenzy. I must have been lonely or something!

I unsubscribed to almost all of them. Wow! What a difference. Our house is also filled with things we can't seem to say no to. Gifts from family, my mom sends me boxes of junk.

Last night I made a list of things I want vs things I need.

Need: Clothing, food, shelter. Medicine and cleaning products. Safety items (phone, flashlight)

That doesn't sound like a lot until you remember that clothing alone is shoes, shirts, fall coats, winter coats, boots, gloves, jogging clothes, agh!

Want: Art and supplies, amenities, furniture, books, cat toys, modest decor, some electronics. Girly things.

That is still a lot of stuff, and it doesn't even include sentimental things. Very hard to choose. On a somewhat unrelated note, I love this clothing site called Prana. They make great yoga clothes and they are partnered with Conservation Alliance, a wonderful nonprofit.

And they don't brag about stuff. I love that.

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Green-tea-shaded

Going to my favorite semi-local market today. Finding products that aren't wasteful gives me a raging migraine. Companies brag about all sorts of things that are weak or completely meaningless. Like "made from sustainable materials". Says who? Oh yeah, the company who makes the product.

Fortunately, the Federal Trade Commission has finally decided to step in. ABC news had a good story on the matter. As they point out in the story, a few good labels exist already. Terrachoice mentions Ecologo and Green Seal.

Here's a quick and dirty eco-guide:

** Items that will be tossed in days or weeks are wasteful, period. The "biodegradeable" label is not regulated by law. Packaging should be minimal.

**Plastic is evil. The end. Try glass or metal.

**As our beloved Alton Brown says, we don't like Unitaskers. If you buy a glass bottle of milk, or whatever, think of ways you can Reuse the item. Put candies in it as a Christmas gift. That way you'll also avoid gift wrap for the holiday.

**Paper can be biodegradeable, but habitat loss and deforestation are, in my opinion, the most serious environmental problem these days. Buy used furniture, use a cloth bag. Be happy and dance.  

Which looks cooler, a Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup, or these?